Breaking: Avicii Died

(The Barstool Blackout Tour: What a time to be alive! No pun intended)

Wow shocking news from the world of EDM. Avicii just died. All you old fucks out there are probably like who is Avicii? Umm wake up and do some molly bro. He’s only probably the greatest EDM DJ who ever lived. He was also the DJ of our first ever Blackout Tour event in Albany. He would later be replaced by Dante The Don because the Don was way cheaper, but the Don based his entire performance on Avicii. And by based his performance I mean he just played his music. I know it sounds crazy but without Avicii the EDM movement may not happen. And without the EDM movement there is no Blackout Tour. And without the Blackout Tour I can’t afford to hire nearly as many people as I did to work for Barstool. What I’m saying is without Avicii Barstool may not exist. So tonight I’ll metaphorically tip a 40 for Avicii. 28 years old. Unreal.